Simple Acts of Humanity

Simple acts of beautiful humanity rooted in the essence of human nature. 

We visited a little Scottish island in May. A huge mammoth drive from our home but a pilgrimage we take each year to find ourselves in a much more simple way of life. Little acts of kindness and humanity are everywhere; like the island-folk have preserved a precious pastime of community without even realising it. 

We ventured into a community shop, nestled into a tiny little croft. The honesty shop. We took a look around and tallied up the things we wanted to buy; tea, crackers, some veg and took it to the counter to pay. There wasn’t a soul in sight to hand over money to, instead there was a little tin box with money, a ledger to write what you’d bought and a pair of glasses. It stopped me in my tracks. 

Here was a place which understood humans. Handing over trust and honesty to the customers to pay and at some point the shop owners recognised a need from their community. It was a simple pair of glasses there for anyone who might need them. In an unschooling world, this would be the same as seeing your child needing a resource and simply providing it for them to achieve whatever it was they were doing. The tiniest gesture meaning everyone involved in that transaction was fulfilled. You don’t get that very often out in mainstream society, perhaps that’s why it was so jarring to see something so beautifully kind. 

It got me thinking about where else there might be simple acts of humanity and how we could infuse our day to day with them. These are the acts which build community, strengthen bonds of humanity and make us remember the true nature of human connection. Beyond formal education for our children, aren’t these some of the building blocks of a fulfilled, healthy, happy life? 

We know modelling behaviour is one of the most simple ways we can pass on more nuanced information to our children. These insightful, wonderfully aware young people are taking in their surroundings all the time; watching a parent as they interact with a stranger in the store, seeing two adults having a conversation and even those beautiful simple acts of kindness which go unnoticed to the wider world. Our children are there for these moments, quietly watching them, perhaps asking questions a little while after (often a tricky to dredge back in our memories for). 

When I think of my son growing into adulthood and the person he’ll become, I have my hopes just like any parent. For me, I don’t think about the career or the path he’ll take professionally, for the most part, this is his decision and his path to discover, rather I think about the type of person he’ll become. Already I can see how patient he is with younger children, I can see how wonderfully aware he is at predicting the needs of others. He’s still so young but so attune to the people around him. He’s always loved people, he thrives off big energy so right now our task is to help guide him through these social interactions. Being there as a shoulder to cry on when the big kids don’t want to play with him, or he’s wiped out, exhausted from morning to evening playing with his friends and the world becomes a difficult place to navigate. 

Here are 3 simple things we can do now to help our children in their adventures out in the world, small acts of humanity which they can test out whilst they’re young and have the security of youth in their favour. 

Saying hello

When someone acknowledges you, how does it feel? If you’re anything like me, it feels really lovely. It doesn’t need to be a whole body embrace, just a simple hello or even a smile across the street. On Scottish islands where the roads are narrow you hold your hand up to say thank you as you let each other pass. The communities are so small, a simple hand wave of acknowledgement is the norm. And the best of this, it doesn’t cost a thing but the feeling of togetherness is huge.  
Imagine your child out in their community as they grow, taking this wonderful act of humanity with them in their life. I hear you, for the introverts among us, this perhaps isn’t something in your wheelhouse but you still have the innate human need for belonging within you. It’s biologically programmed within us to find safety in a community, even if that community is very small, perhaps even just one or two people. The oxytocin reward of acknowledgment goes a long way to a feeling of wellbeing and passing this on to those around you is a simple act of beautiful connection. 

Try it when you go out, start small with a smile and build up to the big hello’s. In the winter, on a blustery cold day, we could all do with a little boost to warm us up from the inside. 

Making gifts 

No matter how hard my fingers work, they’ll never be as deft as my Mothers’, but the intention in my knitting is just as genuine and heartfelt. There’s something about pouring your love into a project for someone else which is so beautifully human. I know this isn’t new news, this is really a nudge to begin the dialogue early for our children. 

Helping our children value the time and effort gone into homemade creations both received and given. This of course comes through modelling, showing them the worth of a handmade gift through your own actions. It’s helpful to talk about who you’re making something for and why you’re making it. The world is in a strange warp of consumerist behaviours right now, our happiness tied up in the buying of “things” we don’t need. Adverts bombard us from every direction so start the conversations at home about needs, likes and wants. We can’t make the decisions for our children but we can help them form a whole picture of the world they live in and where their energy, time and [eventually] money goes. A conversation in our house recently went like this…

“I heard Uncle Robin lost his hat, he’ll need one this winter to keep him warm. I’m going to make this hat especially for him, it even has his favourite colours in it!” 
And this certainly isn’t the “cheap” option. Our time and energy is hugely valuable, not to mention the resources to make the gifts. These are the ideals we should begin to sow the seeds of in our children.  

Pre-empting the needs of others

This one I’ll admit is tricky but with a little consistent practice it becomes easier, a little bit like learning people's names. 

Now bear with me as I side step and talk about the humble shopping trolley… when you’ve done your shopping, taken it to your car and unloaded your purchases, what do you do next? 

I’ll be honest here, I really struggle to comprehend when people don’t take their trolley back to where they’re meant to go. Is there an assumption that it’s someone else's job to do that? Is it laziness or forgetfulness? But like saying “thank you” when you’ve received a meal in a restaurant, it’s simply a matter of respect and thinking of others. Hunting down a trolley in a carpark with a child in tow isn’t something I want to be doing when I go start my weekly shop, or dodging runaway trollies when I go to park the car either for that matter.

There’s a real passive aggressive piece to understand here, I won’t be saying to my son “how would you like it if someone did that to you?” Instead, we do the work ourselves. It’s not bold or brashy, it’s quiet and unassuming but it’s the work which will be consistently modelled. Character is built in the moments people don’t see. 

We say thank you to folks, we put our crockery back onto the tray it came on in cafes, we hold open doors for people and hand over parking tickets with time left on them to the next person entering the car park. We take back the damn trolley!

For children like my son who watch everything, there comes a time when they’re ready to step into the world in small exciting ways. There’s only so much time they have in the home with you growing up before they’re out in the world living their own lives. Our role as parents is to give them the tools and skills to help them live their best lives and I believe simple, beautiful acts of humanity make those lives a little more fulfilling, these are the things we need to introduce now.